One more step up and over the mountain...

Where oh where to begin, I could spend hours catching up this little blog of ours. It has become  a bit overwhelming for me which is why it hasn't been done. It's the little spark at the end of a long day, week, month that I keep coming back to but never finish or publish for the world to see. I started this blog to help us document our precious gift of life here together but it has become so much more. As I face the last post I wrote I keep wanting to run away further from this reality. I have to say that 7 months have passed since my dad passed away and the grief still feels raw for me at times. My sister is such a blessing and has been sharing so many resources of strength and faith during the last seven months. The one thing that has stuck with me is that "grief is like waves in the ocean" not steps that you "get through". Sometimes the waves are small and hit your feet reminding you of memories that are fond which fill your heart and soul with wonderful strength and love. Other times they are HUGE and knock you off your feet, making you feel overwhelmed, saddened and even overcome with grief from that moment in time and the days that followed. Each wave being it's own unique time, emotion, and memory. "So if you never stop loving that person, the grief never completely goes away" "The bond never leaves, you love them and they will always love you." The reassurance is that the waves may get smaller and further apart but that it is OK and normal to be overtaken by a wave further down the road. Just like the ocean, waves come and waves go. Energy is transferred and changed. Life keeps moving...I keep moving...days are filled with wonderful opportunities to see, feel, and hear new life and expressions of love.

You can make it, regardless!

This post is an expression of love, weakness, strength, frustration, understanding, fabulous times and difficult times. Life is real, sometimes rough like the salty waves in the ocean, sometimes calm and soothing like the waves in the ocean.

I'll get back to the family pictures and posts soon, just needed to get this stepping stone done! Baby steps turn into leaping bounds, I get to witness it daily :)

With love & laughter (and a few tears)
Beka

Grief, growth, and giving thanks

Our family is Full of blessings

Today has been a difficult day, I am filled with grief, have experienced growth, and given many thanks to those around me for the strength and support they are providing. Today we found out that my dad passed away. One of my first reactions was shock, then how can I fix it and make it better for my family members who are also grieving, then what are the steps that you take next. Where will life lead? Questions raced in my mind, how, what, when, why...we know some answers but never will know all and I will find peace knowing he is at peace. This is where I give thanks to God for promising us each a beautiful eternal life beyond this earth and even more thanks that he will guide us through our lives here on earth. Finding strength and comfort in those around us and sending up prayers for comfort and support from him. Only he knows our true needs in times of weakness and times of greatness. I am humbled by the fact that he forgives, he loves, and he accepts every person no matter their life here on earth. I cannot say my face is not tear stained, my heart is not breaking, and my breath seems difficult to catch at times but I can find peace in thoughts and memories of many moments with my dad that we were able to share. I am saddened that the month of April is now going to be even harder to face each year with Jared's mom Sundra and my dad now passing from this life in the same month, but we will grieve, grow and give thanks each year with double the amount of love and memories flowing through our family.




This was something that tonight just jumped off the page at me because dad was always the first to tell us to keep our heads up, keep going, and that we could do anything we put our minds to! Right sis?  I love you dad. I always have. I always will.

The Swaffords

just awesome....meeting his first grandson

These 4 share the same middle name :)

he was such a natural even though Eli was less than a month old and seemed so tiny!

I knew these would be a cherished moments

 

Inspired

I was inspired by my pregnancy with Eli to start this blog. I have not lost that inspiration, motivation, or desire to write, but lets face it...being a parent is time consuming (and an honor) to put it best :)

 I wanted to dedicate this post to some amazing people we have in our lives that inspire us on a daily basis for their drive, strength, faithfulness, passion, steadfast love, patience, understanding and most of all love. Jared and I walk our marriage together as one, through trials, in difficult times, and in joyful, exciting times. A difficult time that comes each year in our marriage is the month of April we work hard to make it joyful and a celebration when we can. We had no idea two years ago the trial we would face with losing Jared's mom Sundra on Easter Sunday in a very abrupt, unexpected way. We are faced each day/year with the wonderful opportunity of celebrating Sundra to the best of our ability not just on Easter Sunday in remembrance of her passing but each and every day. She is an inspiration, always in our communication, in my teaching, in Jared's relationships with people and especially with Eli. She inspires me to reflect on the little details, celebrations, and love I can demonstrate to others through gifts of time and homemade baked goods. Her cookies and cakes were the best! She has inspired me to write tonight...There are moments in life that take your breath away, leave you in silence, and encourage you to reflect on the MOST important aspects of your relationships here on earth. That for us was one of those moments. I (beka) will never forget that exact moment...the world froze, it felt surreal, it took my breath away,  it was a pain like I had never experienced in such a real and frightening way. We held so very tight to those we did have here with us and still do. So in honor of her second year spent with HIM above I am inspired to tell those around me my appreciation, love, and desire to give support and encouragement when and where I can. If you are reading this I hope you know that I love you for what you have given me, shared with me, and taught me in our relationship and friendship. I hope I have in some way done the same for you, even if for a fleeting moment in time.

This is our Sundra Rainbow :) She is riding with Jared's dad in the gray pickup behind us. We didn't know it would be one of the last times we would see her. We love you Sundra!

 My hope is that we inspire Eli to share his love with the world around him and that we have the strength and inspiration to share his Grandma Sundra's love with him on a daily basis and especially around Easter and the month of April. We are planning some extra special family and friends time this weekend with Eli for his first celebration of Easter Sunday and his Grandma Sundra! Enjoy this beautiful time of year with your family and in honor of those who walk before us.

Enjoy Mr. Eli chatting it up on the video below :)

With love & laughter
Beka, Jared & Eli

Ears, language, and motoring around

Eli's tubes work...that is something Jared and I are thankful for. Eli had his first follow-up visit to the ENT and it was a quick, 'all clear' appointment. Not even 2 days later Eli got his first cold since the tubes were placed. We thought his ears were all clear...after a weekend trip to K-Stat the Urgent care facility here in town. It was a holiday weekend so we made a return trip that monday back to K-Stat when his ears started draining. IF you have had the opportunity to have a child or know a child with ear tubes you know what I mean when I say who knew that was what an ear infection looked, smelled, and felt like. POOR Baby! I am thankful that the tubes are doing their job and draining all that nasty crud out but my oh my was it disgusting! The Dr. at K-Stat prescribed medicated ear drops which we were told to only put in the one ear that was draining, red, and inflamed. Within 24 hours the other ear began draining and we were putting drops in both ears twice a day. Eli tolerated the medicated drops MUCH better than he does oral medications now a days. Which was a blessing. Overall the tubes surgery was a success and for now Eli's ears are healthier for them. I would say definitely worth the surgery at such a young age. Not only for quality of life but for his digestive system (oral antibiotics are SO hard on his tummy), language development, motor milestones, and the list goes on and on and on! IF tubes are an option for your child I would recommend them!!

Eli's ears, now clear of fluid are helping his language develop also. He is MUCH more vocal and is babbling up a storm. Dadadadadas and Mamamamas are beautiful sounds we get to hear multiple times a day. He also enjoys the "blablablabla" "bababababas" "lalalalalas" and "screeching sounds" as Jared calls them. This moment in development is SO fun to see, hear, and experience on a daily basis.

Eli is now quicker than a lighting bolt when he is determined to get something. He army crawls faster than anything else, but is also getting up on all fours (hands and knees) to crawl a few 'steps' before getting back down to army crawl. He is pulling up on furniture which means the ouchies, head bumps, and falls are in full swing. We are in full baby proofing mode but there are just some bumps you can't prevent.

     

First tooth coming through!

His SECOND tooth coming through!

Sending Love & Laughter
Beka, Jared & Baby Eli

A year of Firsts: 2012 in review

2012 was a year of FIRSTS for this Meitler Family here are just a few!

January 2012: 
*We started 'The Meitler Minute' blog to keep family and friends up to date with the exciting opportunities and wonderful things that happen in our lives. Our FIRST collective documentation of our story as a growing family.

* We celebrated finding out our FIRST born would be a son and we would name him Elijah Lee

*Our FIRST two couple friends from college each had their beautiful baby girls! What blessings they are to us through the first time parenting successes and challenges.

February 2012:
 *We became godparents to a beautiful baby girl Ainsley Harland. Our FIRST godchild and what a blessing she and her family are to our family. Often reminding us that even when there are miles between us we are still close enough to be called family. We love you Harland Family all the way to S. Korea and back!

*We had our FIRST professional pictures taken of Jared, Kobe and I (about 26 weeks pregnant) since our wedding day. They are phenomenal thank you B of La Brisa Photography!! We love you Chris, B, and Autumn!

*We helped welcome a beautiful baby girl Gracyn Schaefer to the world with our FIRST visit to Emporia of the year and my FIRST newborn photography session! What an amazing opportunity to raise our baby boy with great friends from childhood. We are looking forward to Eli and Gracyn playing together for many years to come!!

March 2012:
* We celebrated the soon to be birth of Eli with two baby showers! They were our FIRST time to see many family and friends since we were expecting and Beka's belly was growing!! We are so blessed to have such wonderful family and friends to give us the gift of gathering those we love in celebration of our first baby boy! Thank you Laurie, Amanda, Courtney, Aunt Pam, Eleanor, and Mom Pam :)

April 2012:
*Beka accepted an instructor position with K-State FSHS-ECE. Her FIRST "real" job back at Stone House on campus without being enrolled as a student! What a blessing and dream position.

May 2012:
* Beka left her FIRST 'real job' after completing her M.S. just 2 days prior to Eli joining our world. I was again so blessed to have a year of learning from some the best professionals in Early Intervention! Thank you Anna, Cristina, Kelley, Tara, Amanda, Peggy for an amazing opportunity to learn everyday in an environment that was often times unpredictable!

* We welcomed our FIRST baby boy to our family. The Meitler family grew by one HUGE blessing. Elijah Lee Meitler joined us on May 9th and nothing has been the same! We loved you before you were born, we loved you the day you were born, and we love you more as each day passes by. Thank you for all of the wonderful FIRST moments you have provided for us. You are a true gift from God! We are so thankful for all of the support from family and friends during this exciting time in our lives! Eli's FIRST time to meet Grammy Pam and Grandpa Ken.

*Eli's Auntie Sarah flew in for her FIRST visit of many in the months to come :) We love having her here so much and are SO thankful for the blessing she is in our lives.

* We had Eli's FIRST pictures taken by our amazing friends Dusty and Julie Smith of D&J Smith Photography. We love you guys, and are so thankful for your support and beautiful way of capturing our precious baby boy in his first few days!

June 2012:
* Eli had his FIRST road trip to our fabulous friends Shayla and Dwight's wedding in KC! What a beautiful ceremony and blessing their marriage is. We are beyond thankful for their friendship throughout the years and look forward to many more years of family fun!

*Eli attended his FIRST Boys State of Kansas events. This will continue :)

*Jared's FIRST day back at Best Buy after Eli's birth. This was a rough day for all of us, but with strength and support from my mom we made it through!

* Eli's FIRST introduction to many family members on both sides of the family! Aunt Kendra, Great Grandma Sadie, Great Aunt Kim, Great Uncle Stan, Second Cousin Luke, Grandpa Dwight, Great Grandma Tell, Great Grandpa Bob, Great Aunt Pat, George, and D2 (Chris).

July 2012:
* We celebrated 3rd anniversary by going out to eat together while Grammy Pam watched Eli! Our FIRST dinner, hour, time spent just the two of us since Eli's birth in May.

*Jared accepted his FIRST job at K-State with Career and Employment Services! What a blessing for our family and Jared is getting to follow a true passion! We are thankful!!

* Eli's FIRST pool party! Paigerina's Fiesta!! He had a blast meeting Aunt Paigerina and Aunt Natalie and we did too!

August 2012:
* Eli's FIRST day of school! What a blessing to have him at Stone House with Beka each day and to have such a fantastic group of teachers! We love his Honeybee friends and families!

*Beka's FIRST day of work back at Stone House! Again so thankful to be following my passion and sharing my love and knowledge of Early Childhood Education with future educators in our program at K-State!

* Jared's FIRST day of work at CES on campus! He started with a busy week and the Part-Time Opportunities Fair.

September 2012:
* Eli's FIRST football game against Miami. K-State won!! We are so blessed to be able to share some of our fondest memories from college with Eli right here in his hometown :)

October 2012:
* Our FIRST son was baptized at First Lutheran Church here in Manhattan. We are so blessed to have family and friends who traveled from near and far to be a part of Eli's big day. We are thankful that the Lord is present in Eli's life at such an early age and are dedicated to supporting him through the years and building a church family for Eli. 

* Eli's FIRST Halloween! He was a handsome mummy :)

November 2012:
 * Eli had his FIRST Airplane ride to see Auntie Sarah in Atlanta!

*Eli attended his FIRST K-State basketball game and fell asleep! K-State beat Washburn!!

* Eli celebrated his FIRST Thanksgiving with family here at home. Eli had rice cereal and green beans for dinner!

December 2012:
* Eli had his FIRST surgery, Ear Tubes placed. We are beyond blessed to have such an amazing family doctor who makes decisions that are best for Eli and his quality of life! Dr. Knopp referred us to Dr. Pease an ENT here in town and the surgery was scheduled and done in less than 2 weeks. Again such a blessing to have the opportunity to have wonderful healthcare for Eli.

* Eli celebrated his FIRST Christmas with family. He helped us pick out his FIRST real tree, he loved looking at the lights, and ripping paper off the presents at least for a few minutes at a time!

*We celebrated our FIRST New Years Eve at home since we've been dating and it was fabulous! Welcoming in 2013 as a family was such a fun evening!

We have had a year full of FIRSTS, many blessing, so much to be thankful for, and above all the opportunity to share this special time growing and learning with Eli. We look forward to 2013 and celebrating many more FIRSTS and some seconds for Eli in the coming months! Eli already checked a FIRST off his list for 2013....sledding in the snow with daddy :)

Sending love & laughter,
Beka, Jared, Eli & Kobe

Catching Up and Flying on Airplanes!

This poor blog and Eli's poor monthly updates have been a bit neglected since September...oops!

Since our last post life has been FLYING by and we've been flying by the seat of our pants to say the least :) Jared is in full swing with his new job and loving every day that passes learning new information and helping students grow right along with him. We are especially thankful this holiday season that Jared gets to experience holidays that are relaxing and spent with family instead of the hustle and bustle that goes along with working in retail. I am beyond blessed to have such a dedicated husband who continues to work so hard each day and help Eli and I so much each evening/night. Eli and I are in a routine of going to work/school together each day. The semester is more than half over and the classroom is in full swing. My staff and colleagues are the best anyone could ask for and are like an additional family for us.
Being a working momma is hard, being any kind of momma is hard who am I kidding. Eli and I went through the weening process at 5 months because my body was 'just saying no' to the pumping process and wasn't producing enough. Even trying all the remedies in the books and talking with my Dr. and the lactation consultant it just wasn't happening. This was MUCH harder on me emotionally than I assumed it was going to be but we made it through and he is of course thriving and doing wonderful! I send out my thoughts and praises to all you mommas who breastfeed, have stopped breastfeeding, or choose not to breastfeed at all. What a difficult decision all of that is and if anyone had told me prior to it all that there would be such an emotional bond I don't think I could have prepared myself for just how tough it was for Eli and I. I am proud of both of us for sticking with it as long as we did :)
 Some fun things we've done as a family (Eli's month 4-6)
* Took Eli to his first K-State Football Game :) We also tailgated and got to see some great friends who now also have kids. Tailgating will never be the same again!
* Eli had his first taste of rice cereal, sweet potatoes, green beans, and bananas. He definitely prefers them warm not room temperature!
* We transitioned Eli to his crib and for the most part he is doing great! :)
* Eli found his toes! One of the most hilarious things ever! He LOVES them!
* Eli was baptized here at our church by Pastor Keith who was also the officiant that married Jared and I 3 years ago.
* Eli was a mummy for his first Halloween
* Eli started rolling all over the place, again hilarious to see how confused/proud he is of himself.
* Eli also started sitting up with help and now is sitting independently!! Wahoo :)
* He is even starting to scoot across the floor little by little. He'll be mobile before we know it!
* Eli now weighs more than our dog-child Kobe!! He is 19lbs 7oz and 27.75 inches long-such a big big boy!
*Eli took his first ride on an airplane, which also means he took his first ride on an airport bus, terminal shuttle, and rode with Auntie Sarah on a 10 lane highway in Atlanta!!!
* Auntie Sarah took us to a park, played with us at her house, and took us out to dinner :)
*Eli got to go with Jared on the CNN tour, play in the olympic park fountains, and stay at a 5 star hotel in downtown ATL all while mommy was at the NAEYC conference.
*Eli went to his first home basketball game :) Go Cats!

Not so fun things:
* Eli got his first ear infection at about 4months in his left ear. First round of antibiotics cleared it up but within 5 days he got another infection in his right ear. We are now on round 3 of antibiotics to clear the rest of the fluid and have a referral to the ENT here in town. Fingers crossed his ears have a chance to heal. My mommy/early childhood brain goes straight to language development concerns and hearing loss...so praying for some answers and healing.
*Teething is in full swing :( 

We love our Mummy

lalalaaaaa

we won?!?!

yuck...yuck...did I say yuck!

I'm a Rollie Pollie

such a ham!

just loungin around

First basketball game!! Go Cats!

Olympic Park Fountains ATL

First Flight bye bye KS

We are celebrating Thanksgiving this year by continuing our tradition of hosting it here at our home which means less travel with the little guy and more rest for all of us! We are thankful each day for time spent with the ones we love!

With love & laughter
Beka, Jared & Baby Eli

Checking things off the 'To Do' List

I've learned many things in these short few months as a momma. One I have to remind myself happens to what I would say most parents of infants and young children. I get started on something and finish it within what seems like hours, days, weeks, or even moths later. It MIGHT get done and checked off the 'to do' list but most likely that list gets thrown away during a hurry up and clean moment and a new one starts with yet more things to get done. Adding into the mix both Jared and I who are working full-time jobs that we both feel very connected and dedicated to means our home is often neglected. This leaves our family time often filled with cleaning and taking care of the home things (scheduling oil changes for the vehicles, sending bills, mowing the lawn, etc) we didn't have time or ENERGY to do during the week days.
I have also been neglecting something I have come to LOVE, get energy from, and learn about on a daily basis. My photography...I got a new camera (WOOOHOOO) a Canon T4i and a new 50mm lens but I haven't even had the time or energy to get them out of their beautiful boxes they were shipped in because I want to have ENOUGH time to learn the new body and lens together and enjoy it. I WILL make time to do this in the next month. I've figured out giving myself the leeway and wiggle room of 4weeks helps me actually feel like I am accomplishing things! So beautiful photographs will soon be on their way!
Its the moments like holding Eli and listening to his sweet sleepy sounds, watching Jared make him giggle and squeal, and seeing him wiggle him self into funny half-rolling over predicaments that fill my heart with so much joy its overwhelming at times. This little man of ours is making me open my eyes to all the little things that make life so wonderful and understand how blessed we as a family are each day. Coming from a momma who worries about all the little things, has way to high of expectations for the amount of time we have in a day, and a very detail oriented organized mind slowing down and enjoying the moment is getting easier and knowing that things will get checked off the 'to do' list when they absolutely need to be.
For now just some Iphone photos that have documented the last few weeks :)

playing with daddy

First day of school 8-16-12 (daddy)

First day of school 8-16-12 (mommy)

fell asleep sitting up!

I'm a sailor, or a cowboy, or an explorer!

Hanging out with Paigerina home from FL!

Paige, Natalie, and Eli!

Eli's first gameday! Cats won 51-9!

With Love & Laughter
Beka, Jared & Baby Eli